Inside the Making of “the Inside Design PROJECT” and Me

“Listen to the Whispers”

I love that place – the one where you can hear your heart – it’s just a whisper, but it can guide everything you do and from that everything you do is filled with purpose, generosity and grace.

It’s the place I remember when I was seven and running through the grass in our summer rental in Rocky Point. Sun, sand, water, trees and flowers – all was right with the world. I actually remember thinking thoughts that went something like this- this is the most beautiful moment, I will never forget this moment, July 12th at 1:23pm 1972…

You know when you’re young that place of dreams and desires – big, big hopes and even bigger emotions – is all there is. Create big things, help lots of people – rule the universe and love everything. But of course – why this seems perfect!

This is my story of how I lost my footing, found my balance and uncovered my path – from the inside out. This is my version of how I tried to drown the whisper of grace and how I came to believe I was never ever broken, I simply needed to remember who I was. The gift of this journey is my understanding that my truth is not yours – my joys do not fill you up and your wounds do not leave their scar on me. We can walk together and learn to honor who we are.

I hope you will hear something that resonates for you. Have you walked away from the whisper, how far away, can you hear it?

Life has a way of getting in the mix of things – louder voices, big fears, living on the outside, others opinions, trust, doubt… For me it was a long, slow, beautiful and tedious journey – away from and back to me.

Being a bit non-traditional was my gift and my downfall. a bit too left of normal and just slightly right of standing in my strength. I faltered, slowly at first…you know those little moments that scar your soul…the ones you think – ouch – that sucked.

Please listen carefully, this is where the conflict begins; hate the way I feel, don’t wan’t to be alone, love making them laugh, those jeans really do look good on me, one joint, one beer, one step away – not that big a deal, everyone does it – right! Maybe, but this is about to get ugly – this conflict is about to take on a whole new meaning – I will need to shut down the noise of how bad it feels to live life from the outside.

Whispers get louder and little girls grow up – the further I walked away from my heart the louder the whisper became – the more I needed to do to silent them. Hence the ugly battle of what can only be viewed as a soulful wandering in a dark place.

After a valiant attempt at drowning out the whisper with anything I could get my hands on – drugs, alcohol , spending, moving, the new guy in town – The miracle happened – I gave up, gave in and stopped long enough to hear what all the noise was trying to tell me – An interesting thing happens when you’ve tried everything…you must finally admit defeat, surrender to the cycle, admit it isn’t working – start from scratch.

stop, be still, listen and the path will unfold of itself.

and so it began for me – the journey to be still, remember, strip away the old and find the seedling of me that remained and love it, grow it, share it – protect it and yes, then decorate it with all that is beautiful to me.

And so it begins – the inside me – the one you can’t just paint pink or decorate with a new outfit, a shiny car, or a sparking diamond. This one required an honest space, a place for beauty and failings and death and births — you can’t paint your life pretty and expect it to be protected from the elements. You need to build the foundation from where it all starts and where it all ends and that my dear friend is with your beautiful and glorious and perfectly imperfect heart –

Remember listen to the whisper – and the universe won’t have to yell! Well, my universe was yelling and I was trying to drown it out.

Please remember to listen to the whisper…

Please, please listen to the whisper –

that’s all you can hear. and you just know you can create anything

This is what I was born to do – this is where I am gifted – this is where I am most helpful…So, what took me so long to get here. That’s what I always wanted to know and here is where the creation and the blending of stories begin;

I don’t believe I am any different than anyone else out there – we hear the whisper, we feel the pull, we want to do this thing here, the one that brings joy, smiles, light hearts. You know the life in your heart, the one that is quietly waiting for you to pay attention to it. Not just on vacations, not just when you hit the wall, or when out in the garden or running that trail…the one that sits knowing and waiting for your attention.

This is the moment the time the place the path –